Barb's Journey

???I can't even explain it myself???

Well, the new oncologist I go to told me that the report was nothing to worry about, but if I was still worried for me to go to my surgeon and see what she says. ???? Apparently I have an inflammation in the area under my arm where they took out the lymph nodes, and it has shown up on previous PET scans, although Dr. Diaz never said anything about it. I don't even remember seeing anything written about it. I will go get my blood markers checked next week, as another way to check on the area. It is not an infection, but an inflammation??????? Also, he wants me to get a second opinion on my kidney as it has really gotten swollen and there may be some relationship to my right side being in such pain.  I told him I had gone twice to the doctor about that, but urologist didn't want to do anything about it....felt it has been there for a long time and he may stir up trouble. My oncologist said," Well he probably thought you were dying of cancer anyway, so why cause more trouble." ???????? So, bottom line, there is nothing wrong, but I am getting more second opinions. Now comes the killer or should we say the most stunning part of this letter.

When I went to Dr. Rocha instead of Dr. Diaz it was because I wanted a second opinion on being taken off Herceptin. DR. Rocha reassured me that Dr. Diaz's treatment was right down the line, proper and thorough. Although he said there was one more minor test he could give me that Diaz didn't give me and it has a very small chance of being anything that could help me. Well, they told me they would run the test and have the results by this visit. Well, they didn't....so the doctor reordered them. I stood there last time and heard him order the tests, so figured they got lost in my change of offices. So that was it and we went home. Well, I was just laying down and the phone rang and lo and behold it was Dr. Rocha. They found the test results and YES I did test with the right results. He was so excited, he kept repeating.. You just don't realize what this means, you can take a pill and it will keep the cancer from coming back!!!! He was so excited, he wants me to come in Tuesday, they will start giving me this pill, I don't even know more than that. So, bottom line, just don't be sure of anything you are told as it can change at any time. ??????? So, that's my story and I am as confused as you. But I think I am ok. I love you all, Love Barb.

Well, never a dull moment

I finally got the results of my PET scan and there is a hot spot under my arm on the same side as the tumor. After several phone calls, John and I will go see my oncologist at 1:20 tomorrow. I will tell you that I am somewhat stunned, but since John's accident, I have really worn myself out, so am hoping that it is just a fluke. Who knows? Talk about God never giving you what you can't handle...John is up walking on his broken foot now. So, he is getting along and doing some of the shopping and rehab. He goes to the doctor in the morning and I go in the afternoon. I want to say whatever will be will be, but I have to tell you that I am liking having hair. Anyway, again I will ask for your prayers and also ask if I can communicate through e-mail. I am totally spent, this has been a very hard period of taking care of John and the house. I will call everyone in good time. My love and thankfulness are there for all of you. Love me.

Another Update

Happy Daylight saving time. Here I am waiting for it to really turn to 6, but the great thing is now that I am retired it doesn't matter cause I can take a nap anytime. I thought I would take this time to give a state of the union address. The state of our union is volcanic, at best, not really. John has his brace off, so he is up a little more often...not that much. The difficulty being that he can't put any weight on his broken leg. So, he ends up having to hop everywhere and it exhausts him. We were just up minutes ago assessing how he is for today and he was worried cause his leg looked so funny to him. Well, it has been so swollen this whole time that he even had blisters erupting where the tissues couldn't hold water. Well, this morning the swelling was finally gone and his leg looks so withered. He was in shock. I am glad because it will come back and I think without swelling he won't be in so much pain. So, he will work through this, as he has everything else.

     I am in the midst of undecorating Halloween and getting out Thanksgiving. We had a very nice Halloween, so many people and kids. We were happy to have Josh and Dina here. They are so cute, if I do say so myself.

     Now, as far as I am concerned, all is good. I have a PET scan around Dec. 7th. So, all is stable until then. I find that I am so busy with the house, and taking care of John, that I barely think about it. So, really this has been a blessing. I really spend my time thinking of other things. I have to admit that I am really enjoying being the homemaker, although its been a long time.

     I hope all of you are enjoying this beautiful weather we are having. It is actually cool this morning. Both John and I send our love to all of you. Love me.

Weekend Update

Hello everyone, sorry that I haven't written for a while, things have been hectic.

John is making very slow progress. I don't think he ever realized how slow the healing process can be once you have scrambled the bones in your leg. He is very frustrated, and after a series of hard headedness and stubbornness, he has finally started following the Doctor's and wife's suggestions. He is able to get from bed to office to do his crosswords, back to bed. He only goes in the bathroom for his morning cleanup routine. He has a urinal by his bedside, guess who gets to empty it. Other than that, he has to stay in bed with leg elevated....which he hates. I know he is very upset about not being able to do more to help, but I have hired a maid, one extra day of yard work, one extra pool clean up day. It will never be as good as John can do it, but it will be at least manageable when he is back on his feet. I still am not laying around, eating bon bons as John so likes to joke....ha..ha! There are grocery trips, dogs, errands, doctor appointments and managing day to day chores of taking care of him 24/7. I sure haven't had much time to think about the big C.

We got a Univ.of Florida alumni newspaper, and who should have a full page story but one Michael Foley. (Very handsome picture Michael). I talked to Karen last night and they are going to induce Cristen some time tonight. She is more than ready. Shannon Domeier is having another child, this is right after having her first one. We are right in the middle of having so many of our friends having grandchildren. (Do you hear that Dina and Josh?) Our fridge is covered in baby pictures. We are still waiting on our little Noah to have a sibling.

My health is good and I am doing so much, I actually hurt my back and hip pretty badly. I did go for one of those outpatient surgeries where you get cortisone shots. I had two, one in back and one in hip. I am still in some pain, but nothing like before. However, no amount of working around the house seems to do much for weight loss. I am still getting on the talking scale every morning and I am tired of its mindless chit chat.

I am going today to see Mary and her team coming in for the last few miles of their walk for breast cancer awareness. It has been a wonderful experience and she will have so much to tell me. I want to go to lunch with her next week, whenever she can get away. I am seeing Kip tonight, she is really under the weather with a sinus headache. I hope it has lessened somewhat. Well, I know I could write so much more and gossip forever, but have to go fix breakfast. I love you all so much and do wish we could have one big reunion sometime this year. Maybe we could have a christening of a new baby......Sorry, I had to throw one more jab your way, Dina and Josh. Love me

TGIF Almost

Hello all,

      Just wanted to let you know how John is doing. I swear, a support group such as you all, is a blessing to us. John walked into the den with the help of a walker, I should say hopped. Karen Crager is home from France and brought us dinner, so John sat in the den for that. This is going to be such a long recuperation period, but each day gets better. We are going to his surgeon tomorrow to look at his incision, long and ugly, I can save us the trip. The big question is how to get him down the steps to the car. Josh is going to carry him and then put him in the wheelchair. Then he will help him get into his car, this will be interesting.

       I go today to another oncologist for a second opinion on taking the Herceptin vs. not taking it. I also go to the pain management doctor next week. I am hoping that he can do something about the pain in my hip, it gets worse each day. I have to use it a lot more now that I am doing things for John. It is sciatica and hurts like hell.

       Everyone keeps asking about the dogs. They are still crazy when someone comes in the house, but most of the time they are sleeping. They are all a year older than last year, so have settled down a lot. I think if you don't own a dog it is hard to imagine how much they become your children, each with its own personality.

       This weekend will be a nice relief without having too many obligations, but to care for John. Hopefully, by next week, we can put him in the wheelchair for a spin around Woodlawn. It is funny to think of him in a wheelchair, he still doesn't seem like a 70 year old man to me. I think he looks about 50 and acts about 45.  I am sure this is killing him. Well, goodnight my friends and family. Again, thank you for all of your worry and phone calls and food. Have a great weekend. Love me.

Update

John came home from the hospital yesterday. That is certainly the definition of determination. It took three people to carry him up the stairs. He is as weak as a kitten. The doorbell never stopped ringing with well wishers and food. Even one of my former students came over and offered to do the pool for us. So, here we are surrounded by our friends. We are truly, truly blessed. Now it is my turn to take care of him. Love Barb

Another day in the life of a Sheridan

They ran all kinds of tests yesterday to see if John had had a stroke during his episode last night. There is still one test today, but all of the ones done so far have come with good news. He is still having problems with his oxygen level. This is due to his smoking. He is on oxygen now. They also  had rehab come and get him out of bed and sitting up. He also walked a bit tool. He did really good. I am falling asleep sitting here. Back to bed. Josh is watching for any signs of a stroke and to make sure he is being treated well. Bye for now. love me. Barb

As the World Turns

Okay, what is 6'4", 70 years old and as cranky as a snake? I got a call at 3 in the morning, woken out of a sound sleep. Read my caller ID and it said St. Anthony's. So my congestive heart failure kicked into high gear. Thank God, Mary and Tom were nearby. I called the hospital and John had been trying to get up and walk home. He had pulled off most of his tubes and gone into atrial fibrillation, fighting with the nurse. So, she called me to come calm him down. Now I ask you, who was there to calm me down? Anyway, got to the hospital, calmed him a tad. Argued right and left with his nurse. She maintained that the only pain relief was the morphine. I argued that they were giving him vicodin also. Finally, I persuaded her to check his chart. She said it wasn't protocol. Long story short, he was to have had vicodin also. So I finally after about two hours got him to sleep. I am home now to get things from here and then I will go back. You should have seen him when his oxygen level machine went off. He started blowing into his IV tubes. He was a mess. I can only hope that the doctor comes to see him and that the morning staff has more patience. I am going to call Josh. MEN!!!!! Love me

Update

Just to catch you up on things. John had surgery yesterday and they put a plate and some pins in his knee area. The doctor said it went well. He just wants John not to smoke for three weeks and stay off his leg for three weeks. This ought to be interesting.  He is full of jokes for the nursing staff and keeps them laughing...he has an all new audience. I don't know when he gets to come home. He will be pushing to get home as soon as he can. He really is an amazing patient at the hospital, not so much at home. They gave him a morphine push, that you just hit it when you feel pain. He wouldn't push it even though he was in terrible pain. I asked him why and he said he didn't want to be too greedy. God, I would have laid on the button. Anyway, all is well here. I can't imagine the house being without John sweeping, raking, vacuuming, dusting, washing....don't worry, I am not going to compete. Love me

Well this you will never believe

What is 6'4'', 70 years old, stupid and doesn't listen to his wife? Yeah, that's right ...my idiot husband. John fell off the ladder while trying to frame out the carport, hit his head and then as the boards and tools fell on him, one of the boards hit his leg and broke it in two places.....right below the knee. He is in the hospital tonight and they are going to try to schedule surgery for tomorrow. So, I guess I will have to go find my potty chair, walker and other assorted assistants. The poor guy is in such pain, they had him on morphine that wasn't doing any good. I remember exactly what he is going through. Each time they had to move him from one bed to the other it kills him. They must have slid him around about 10 times during x-ray. He feels so badly to put Josh and I through one more thing. Of course, it could've been so much worse. He still has his sense of humor and told every old joke he has ever told for the last 30 years. One of the nurses is a former student. Thank God she loved him.

 

As you can see by the time, I am awake right now, but will go back to bed. I am surrounded by dogs, so don't worry about me, they take care of me. I will take good care of John as he has done for me over these many years. So, just change your prayers to the family now. Of course, Josh was the diligent son. He dies a little each time one of these calls comes. Love me